One of the better parts of my job, apart from getting paid shitloads of money to have threesomes, is touring. Basically touring is the same as sucking dick for cash in my home state, but I get to sample genitals all over the country. I'm about to embark on one of my biggest tours yet, which is taking me to: Perth, Darwin, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Canberra and Hobart in just under a month to spend time with my male, female and couple clients.
Working what to take is pretty high on my pre-tour checklist. Apart from lingerie, costumes and paraphernalia, I also have to take escort dresses and clothing for interviews, gigs and social engagements. Sit down to a call from my disgruntled personal trainer, I'd forgotten I had a nine AM session.
I must have been drunk when I made it that early. It's still too early to be considering the fetishes of strangers so decide have a wank. Wonder if I have enough condoms for a month. Count condoms. Get distracted and bat condoms across the room with vibrators.
One of the benefits of touring is tour deposits. It's like selling tickets to a gig, you advertise when you'll be in town, clients contact you and you request a 25 percent deposit. A few days later anything from 25 to percent of the booking has been prepaid and you know you're going to earn some money.
Tour costs can get expensive when you factor in five star hotels, flights, room service, food, drinks for clients, drivers and advertising. You usually have to have sex with a few people before you begin to break even. Work on my op-ed piece about moving beyond the morality of sex work for publication this weekend.
